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There are several ways to determine butterfly gender:
(1) the way they look. Examine the butterflies' wings. In many species the patterns on the wings differs slightly between male and female. The differences change from one species to another, while a monarch male has distinct spots on his lower wings, the male Anna's Blue butterfly is brighter than the female and the female swallowtails have more blue on their bottom wings than the males of the same species. If you can identify the butterfly species, you may be able to more easily identify the butterflies' sex given the distinguishing marks.
(2) the way they act.
(3) if they lay eggs.