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Look at black vine weevils.
Definitely a millipede, probably in the Narceus genus based on the location.
They may be stink bug eggs. Newly-laid brown marmorated stink bug eggs are blue-green.
Family Elateridae (click beetles)
It's definitely a wolf spider (Family Lycosidae). Ventral (belly) pics, eye pics and size would probably help narrow it down.
In this case, an i.d. down to species cannot be confirmed with just the one photo. There are at least 2 species that are black with orange legs and possess very wide pronotums with flattened pronotal bases.
A robber fly, but I cannot tell you the species.
Ohmygosh I almost spit out soda. Your descriptions were too funny! Awesome pics, by the way.
RE: my ID suggestion -
there is also a subspecies (A. mellipes ssp. mellipes),
so it could be this one instead.